The End and the Beginning

Not that Bill and I are doing anything wild and crazy for New Year’s Eve, but I’m going to pretend we’re busy busy busy – too busy to write much about today’s thoughts. I must admit I didn’t go to the park to walk with Gracie today, but I did burn a lot of calories walking through Home Depot, Michaels, Target, a huge parking lot, and an antique mall. In addition, I lifted my debit card quite a few times. I’m exhausted.

So I’m going straight to the numbers and then straight to bed. Yes, I know it’s way too early for a New Year’s Eve, but if I’m lucky, I’ll wake up in time to see the ball drop and then I’ll drop back off to sleep. Here’s to a healthier year, and the two chocolate chip cookies I plan to allow myself!

Weight – 165.7

	SparkPeople	Me
Calories	1200 – 1550	1430
Carbs	163-236	172
Fat	32-56	19
Protein	60-127	100

Believe the Scales

I had a pleasant surprise when I stepped on the scales this morning. Apparently, I lost three pounds overnight. Yep. That must have been one heck of a restless night! The thing is I took two Tylenol P.M., which makes me sleep like I’m dead, so I could have run a marathon and not known it. 

Bill, the voice of reason, constantly tells me that daily weigh-ins are deceiving, that one’s weight fluctuates throughout one day, so the buzzkill is telling me not to do any kind of happy dancing because of the massive weight loss. Grrrrr.

Now for the truth – I did eat a block of dark chocolate with raspberries and some popcorn last night after I said I was done eating. I didn’t go to bed early enough. Looking back, I think a glass of water would have filled me up enough, but maybe the takeaway is that chocolate encourages weight loss. Nah. Probably not.

Gracie and I walked in the park today for 45 minutes. She’s already looking slimmer. Meanwhile, my blue jeans are still uncomfortable. Maybe I should let Gracie try them on. 

So here are today’s numbers:

Weight - 167.9

	SparkPeople	Me
Calories	1200 – 1550	1458
Carbs	163-236	136
Fat	32-56	39
Protein	60-127	127

The First Day...Again

Last night, like a prisoner getting a last meal, I crammed in three big chocolate chip cookies; you know, the desperate eating spree that precedes the promise to be better tomorrow. When I stepped on the scales this morning, I weighed 170.6. That’s a loss; small to be sure, but it’s still a loss.

I thought it would be a good, albeit humbling, idea to check a weight/height/age calculator to see where I fall BMI-wise. Here’s a big shock: I’m officially overweight. Dang. And instead of being just over the line on the side of overweight, I’m smack-dab in the middle of overweight, so I can’t even falsely comfort myself by whispering at my reflection, “Well, you’re just a little overweight.”

                Now to address the daily vs. weekly vs. the no-scales at all weigh-in issue: I am aware that health/weight loss experts are divided on the optimal schedule for keeping on track. Some say weighing oneself every day is ineffective and obsessive; others say it makes one aware of small gains that can turn into big gains if one doesn’t pay attention. I am a daily weigher, and I have to say I’m pretty obsessive about it. However, I was weighing myself every day even as I regained all the weight I had worked so hard to lose on WW. It’s not like I didn’t step on the scales for three years so that I was totally unprepared for the news that I’d squandered away a 40-pound weight loss.  Instead it went something like this: Oh, I see I’ve gained five pounds. Ah, that’s nothing. I’ll burn that off with a couple of good walks and I’ll watch my points…Hmmm, ten pounds. Damn. Get yourself together now or you’re going to be fat again…Mmmmmm, tiramisu. One serving won’t hurt, right? Christmas cookies? They’re little and they’re only around for a few weeks. Besides, I should eat them all so they’re not just hanging around tempting me…Huh, twenty pounds. Maybe I was too thin before I gained them. I can live with 150; that’s a good healthy weight. Yup, still okay on the BMI chart. In fact, I have a little room to spare. SparkPeople addressed the weighty question (Hee hee), saying that, according to the obligatory “recent study,” daily weigh-ins and a support system keep people from gaining weight. I can’t explain my failure, but I am going to stick with stepping on the scales every morning ala Bridget Jones (without the cigarette count. Heyyy, I weighed a whole lot less when I smoked…Eh, an oxygen tank packs on some pounds, though). 

                So here’s the breakdown for today:  

	SparkPeople Guidelines	My Tracker
Calories	1200 – 1550	1385
Carbs	163 – 236	182
Fat	32 – 56	56
Protein	60 – 127	51

                I even had a chocolate chip cookie and ate lunch at Panera. On the downside, I got in only a 15-minute walk today because it was Caleb’s last day at home for Christmas, and I wanted to spend quality time watching him play an online game. He did take a break – to go to Panera. Food is definitely the way to that boy’s heart. And attention. But on the upside, Bill and I walked up a killer hill, the kind that makes breathing very difficult and talking impossible. Wait a minute. I think I just figured out why he suggested we do the hill.

                It’s 7:19 p.m. and I’m considering going to bed now just to shut up those darn chocolate chip cookies in the freezer.

                Well done, you (ala Bridget Jones, too).

               

And So It Begins

                My jeans are too tight. My blouses gap at my chest, and my bras aren’t cute enough to show off anymore. The other day I stooped down to hook a leash onto one of my dogs’ collars and I made a chubby noise because I felt so uncomfortable. I look matronly. Again. 

I’ve been riding the weight-loss merry-go-round for too long now, and I’m starting to hear the carousel animals groan when I settle into the saddle. I want off.

The last time I had a successful weight loss plan I paid $11 a week to attend Weight Watchers. It’s a great program, but I’m not an idiot; I know how I succeeded last time. I ate less, made better choices, and moved more. Simple. And so stinkin’ hard. 

I came to this conclusion a while ago: I shouldn’t have to pay for self-discipline. If I know how to lose weight, I should be able to do it. For free. The conclusion came first; now it’s time to apply what I’ve learned.

So here’s my thinking. Weight Watchers worked for me for a few reasons beyond adhering to the eat less, choose better, move more mantra. Reason 1: I felt as though I wasted money any week I didn’t lose at least an ounce. Reason 2: I knew I had to face someone who knew I had failed that week (although no one at Weight Watchers ever labeled a gain or net zero “a failure”). Reason 3: I religiously wrote down everything I ate. Every day. And it worked. I lost about 40 pounds.

I found them again. 

This blog will be my daily weigh-in. It will keep me honest (You shouldn’t lie to your doctor, your lawyer, or your blog), and it will serve as my record – what I ate, what I thought, what I did, what I didn’t do. I will not be posting a Before picture (No one needs to see me in spandex and a sports bra), but I will list my weight and height, and you can let your imagination do the rest. At 5’7” I weighed 170.9 this morning. Instead of tracking points ala WW, I’ll be tracking what I eat on SparkPeople because I know that writing it all down is crucial. And regardless of how I do on a daily basis – the good, the bad, and the ugly – I’ll be sharing it here. The time I spend posting my daily efforts will be the “money” I’d waste if I lose my resolve. 

And so tomorrow it begins.